Cell Block Tango
by Flika
Summary: The women of Konoha and their murders.


**Do not own Naruto or the musical**

* * *

A young woman sat in a wooden chair, listening to the water dripping from a loss pipe in the ceiling. She nervously brushed her hand through her frizzled red hair. She never thought she would be here, in _this_ place. Of course she had heard the rumors, all the unthinkable things that women have done in order to get thrown in here. Part of her was starting to regret what she had done. But sadly, it was far too late to regret.

She was startled by the crackling noise above her head. Adjusting her glasses she was able to see an old wooden speaker nailed up to the wall above her. A small screeching sound came from it before a man's voice echoed from the device.

"_And now the six marry murderesses of the Fire County Jail in their rendition of the cell block tango…_"

The lights shut off and she had to fight back a scream. She could understand what was happening. When out of now where a stage light showed a line of cells, six beautiful women locked inside, and dressed indecently in leather.

"Sigh,"

"Six,"

"Squish,"

"Uh-uh,"

"Hokage,"

"Hatake,"

Two blonds, three brunettes, and a young girl with pink hair. There were all singings one single word. There was so much raw emotion in every word even though they were spoken so quietly. The red head couldn't help but watch as the women behind the bars continued.

"Sigh,"

"Six,"

"Squish,"

"Uh-uh,"

"Hokage,"

"Hatake,"

They were louder that time. The red head adjusted her thick glasses as the women moved more. A misty smoke was filling the room and fogging up her glasses. She mildly wondered where the mist had come from.

"SIGH!"

"SIX!"

"SQUISH!"

"UH-UH!"

HOGAKE!"

"HATAKE!"

The six women were scream rather than singing. The red head had herself pushed up against the wooden chair she was sitting in. All six of the women started singing at the same time.

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had him self to blame. If you'd been there, if you'd had seen it-"

"I betcha you would have done the same!" The pinkette song deeply as she pointed right at the red head. The little chant started once more before everything went quiet.

One of the cell doors opened; a tall, thin, dirty haired blond whose hair was covering some of her face stepped out. She walked to the middle of the empty room and a spot light hit her dead on. Her face could only be described as mad. She spoke slowly…

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like, Shikamaru. Shika liked yawn when he was bored – no, not yawn – but SIGH. So I come home this day and I'm really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy, and there's Shika layin' by the window, watchin' the clouds, and yawnin' – No, not yawnin' – SIGHIN'."

A man dressed head to toe in black walked into the room and silently offered the girl his hand. She took it and smiled sweetly, sitting on his knee before she continued.

"So I told him. I said 'You sigh on more time…" and he did. So I took the shout gun off the wall and fired two warning shouts…"

An insane smile graced her face.

"…Into his head!"

The man that was holding her suddenly fell to the ground. The red head wanted to scream when his hat fell off and a stream of red came from his head. At first she thought it was blond until the blond picked the stream up showing it was nothing more then a scarf.

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there; if you'd have heard it. I betcha you would have done the same!"

An older women emerged from the cell, her dark blond hair up in pig tails that fell over her large breast. Another man dressed like the one before entered and she slowly walked up to him as she spoke.

"I met Jiraiya from Konoha City about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out, 'Single' he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married"

She pushed the man down to ground and straddled his stomach.

"...Oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

She leaned down to kiss the man and pulled a red scarf from his mouth using her teeth. She rolled off the man as the cell door opened again.

"Hah! He had it coming. He had it coming. He took a flower in its prime. And then he used it, and he abused it. It was a murder, but not a crime!"

"Sigh, six, squish, uh-uh, Hokage, Hatake."

A brunette with hair up in buns walked out coolly. She stopping in front of a man and the two walked around each other, preying each other, seeing who would make the first move.

"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Neji, in a jealous rage. 'You been screwin' Lee,' he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', 'You been screwin' Lee'. And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times…"

"If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!"

A soft skinned brunette walked out. Her pale eyes looked so timid and scared, nothing that you would expect from these women. She clutched the necklace in her hands and spoke in a foreign langue.

"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires Kiba lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. Probaltam a rendorsegen magmayarezni de nem ertettek meg."

The red head stared at the small foreign women before she asked slowly…

"But did you do it?"

The brunette shook her head and held the necklace even closer and cried.

"Uh-uh, Not guilty!"

The pinkette stepped out as the brunette tiptoed away. She looked angrier then most of the girls. With her hands on her hips she stared at the red head and spoke…

"My bother, Naruto and I had this double act and my husband, Sasuke, traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks. One two three four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one night we were in the hotel Hokage, the three of us, boozin' and havin' a few laughs when we run out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Naruto and Sasuke doing Number Seventeen – the spread eagle.

"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead."

Suddenly all but one girl were on the floor dancing around each other and their dead men while the pinkette sung at the top of her lungs.

"They had it coming. They had it coming. They had it coming all along. I didn't do it; but if I'd done it. How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

"They had it coming." (They had it coming,)

"They had it coming." (They had it coming,)

"They had it coming," (They took a flower,)

"All along," (In its prime,)

"I didn't do it," (And then they used it,)

"But if I'd done it," (And they abused it,)

"How could you tell me," (It was a murder,)

"That I was wrong?" (But not a crime!"

A middle age women with short brown hair stepped into view. She was hugging a man whose face could not be seen. Her face was loving but her eyes were not.

"I loved Kakashi Hatake more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy...sensitive... a painter. But, he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ayame, Hana, Konan and Iruka. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."

She let a scarf fall from her sleeve and held it against the man's neck, pulled, and he fell to the ground.

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! the dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!"

"They had it comin'" (They had it comin')

"They had it comin'" (They had it comin')

"They had it comin'" (They had it comin')

"All along" (All along)

"'Cause if they used us" ('Cause if they used us)

"And they abused us" (And they abused us)

"How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

"He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same!"

"If you sigh one more time-"

"Single my ass-"

"Ten times-"

"Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe-"

"Number seventeen – the spread eagle-"

"Artistic differences-"

"Sigh!"

"Six!"

"Squish!"

"Uh-uh!"

"Hokage!"

"Hatake!"

The lights went out and the red haired girl just sat their in the silence.

…

…

…

"You Konoha bitches are all whack!"

And with that she got up and left.

* * *

Red head = Karin

Girl one = Ino

Girl two = Tsunade

Girl three = Tenten

Girl four = Hinata

Girl five = Sakura

Girl six = Shizune

Yeah, I was just really bored today.


End file.
